Results:

International Friendly: United States of America 1-2 England
Kirin Cup: 日本 0-1 United Arab Emirates
French referendum: Non 55-45 Oui

And the big one...

Play-off final: West Ham United 1-0 Preston North End

GET IN!!!!

La constitution européenne

Sacre bleu! Ce weekend les français votent sur la constitution européenne. Incroyablement, il semble qu'ils vont dire "non!". Quel dommage! On attend avec impatience les résultats...

Potential banana skin!

Well this weekend, twelve years after our potentially most embarrassing modern day footballing defeat, England once again face comparative minnows The United States of America in an international friendly. Images of Alexi Lalas rising like a salmon to score the second against Taylor's England in 1993 are still too fresh, and even though the US team has undergone a vast improvement in recent years, it should still not be good enough to beat an England reserve XI. I mean no disrespect to US soccer, but for England, this mini-North American tour is a complete waste of time. Most household names, including Chelsea stars John Terry and Frank Lampard, galacticos David Beckham and Michael Owen (who still have one more la Liga game to play), teenage fatty Wayne Rooney and (probably) Manchester United team-mates Rio Ferdinand and Gary Neville, are all out. And as the Liverpool players have been busy winning the Champions League, they won't be joining up with the squad until much later. In any event, shouldn't the players be starting on their summer breaks right now instead of trapsing half-heartedly half-way around the world after a long season? And was it not Sven himself who lobbied for mid-season breaks and match-cutting measures ahead of next year's World Cup? After all, was it not 'too many matches' that were blamed for our quarter-final eliminations in Korea and Japan in 2002 and in Portugal in 2004?

The apparent reason for this tour is to try out unproven youngsters ahead of next year's World Cup in Germany. But most of the young blood which has any chance of making it to the finals next year, namely Sean Wright-Phillips and Stewart Downing, have both pulled out of the tour through injury. So, we could be seeing a drastically re-vamped and unfamiliar England taking to Soldier Field, Chicago, on Saturday (kick-off Sunday 04.00 JST). Defeat is likely. The footballing world waits...

England Squad:
Goalkeepers - Scott Carson (Liverpool), Robert Green (Norwich City), David James (Manchester City)
Defenders - Wes Brown (Manchester United), Sol Campbell (Arsenal), Ashley Cole (Arsenal), Glen Johnson (Chelsea), Phil Neville (Manchester United), Luke Young (Charlton Athletic), Zat Knight (Fulham)
Midfielders - Michael Carrick (Tottenham), Joe Cole (Chelsea), Stewart Downing (Middlesbrough), Owen Hargreaves (Bayern Munich), Jermaine Jenas (Newcastle), Kieran Richardson (Manchester United)
Forwards - Peter Crouch (Southampton), Jermain Defoe (Tottenham), Andrew Johnson (Crystal Palace), Alan Smith (Manchester United)

Actually, the footballing world doesn't really give a toss because, as we all know, the most important match this weekend is...no, not the international friendly between Japan and the United Arab Emirates but...the play-off final between West Ham United and Preston North End at the Millenium Stadium, Cardiff on Monday. Bring it on!

Is it a bird?...

...an ordinary boy by day, he's a down-to-earth guy who he likes nothing more than to take photos with his lovely new Nikon.

But when The Keenfactor visits his hair-stylist he undergoes a tremendous transformation, turning into none other than...


...The Coolfactor! Here to save the day in the midst of a global fashion crisis!


And he's always more than happy to stop and talk to his many legions of fans!

IT'S LIVERPOOL!!

Unbelievable! What a match! One of the best in years!

How the hell did Liverpool manage to overturn a 3-0 half time defecit in the space of only six second-half minutes, and then go on to win on penalties? They were outplayed and outclassed for most of the game, but they hung in there and stung Milan with a killer spell of wonderfully inspired attacking football.

It was great to watch.

Milan seemed to be out of sight at half-time. A rare Maldini strike in the first minute followed by two break-away goals from Crespo (his second a beautiful finish after a sublime Kaka throughball) pretty much ended the tie as a contest. Or so we thought.

I went back to bed at half-time and began to drift off with the TV on in the background. I was almost asleep when Gerrard's 54th minute header, surely nothing more than a consolation goal, woke me up. But it wasn't until Smicer fired in a low drive only two minutes later to make it 3-2 that I, and the legions of travelling scousers in the stands and millions more watching on TV all over the world, began to believe. I sprang from my bed and rejoined the sofa. I started composing a message to Jake to see if he was watching the game. Before I had barely written the first word another piercing attack saw Gerrard hauled down by Gattuso in the box. The ref had no doubt it was a penalty. Get in there! Up steps Xabi Alonso! I first saw him about five years ago playing for Real Sociedad and during my three years in Spain he was one of the best players in la Liga. I always knew he would be awesome. He didn't strike the penalty well, but reacted fantastically to smash home the rebound after Dida's excellent save. 3-3. Cue scenes of extreme jubilation in the stands. I jumped out of my sofa and screamed 'GET IIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!!! But surely this was not happening? 'Jake, are you watching this?' Message sent.

The drama continued, but before anyone knew it the 90 minutes were up. Half an hour more to play! Milan continued to dictate the play, and only a remarkable double-save by Dudek from Sheva late into extra-time kept Liverpool in it. Liverpool clearly played for penalties, but can you blame them? Their engines were empty. Hanging on for dear-life against superior opposition, you win the way you can.

I felt sorry for Sheva. His perfectly good 'goal' in the first-half, harshly ruled-out for off-side, may have spurred Milan onto an even greater, and probably unassailable, half-time lead. Shevchenko, the hero at Old Trafford two years ago when scoring Milan's fifth penalty against Juventus, had the same responsibilty again. But this time he had to score to keep his team in it. His penalty was poor and Dudek saved it. But what a sweet moment for the the Polish keeper, answering his critics with a truly awesome performance when it mattered most. Liverpool FC, Champions of Europe!

To be fair, before kick-off I thought Liverpool might sneak it. But nobody in their right mind would have backed the Reds at half-time, at three nothing down, to then go on and lift the trophy.

After the final whistle I was tired and I wanted to go back to bed, but there was no way I was going to miss the trophy ceremony. And it was brilliant to see Stevie Gerrard raise the European Cup, Liverpool's fifth and their first in twenty-one years, as his euphoric team-mates and delighted manager danced away behind him. What a scene! Gerrard's face was a picture. It almost brought a tear to my eye!

Here we go!!

Champions League Final tonight. Unfancied Liverpool take on favourites Milan. Should be a close game. In fact, despite my previous predictions, I am going to stick my neck out and go for a Liverpool win. I think Milan's defensive game might suit Liverpool very nicely. Maybe I should pay a visit to the online bookie before school finishes?

Defeat for FGU

Despite entering the competition as champions and favourites, the mighty FGU stumbled at the semi-final stage against underdogs Real Osaka in the Western Japan Tournament. Three Osaka goals against the run of play surprised the champions. One onlooker said that 'dodgy defending was to blame'.

FGU's first five games brought an amazing 20 goals with no reply (including seven for Heneghan, five for Robertson and two each for Matty Ho and new-boy Takenoko). Fukuoka had looked unstoppable and, to be fair, the boys from Kansai didn't even look like scoring as they were forced to contend with intense FGU pressure. However, mid-way through the second half the Fukuoka defence suddenly and inexplicably parted allowing nippy Japanese winger Yuki to walze into the box unattended and whip a low show past the previously inactive FGU goalkeeper, Ian van der Sar. Things went from bad to worse and, as Fukuoka pushed up in search of an equalizer, two more quick counter-attack goals followed. FGU were left shell-shocked and incapable of a response.

Captain Canning commented 'It's been a hard two days, but we didn't play our usual game today. We were crap. Not enough shots on goal, too many holes at the back and too many beverages consumed last night. Had we scored first we would have won but, don't worry, we'll be back next year for another go!'

Concert on the Rock

For more photos of The James Heneghan Acoustic Roadshow performing in Oita please click here.

Hair stylish!!

Here's the Keenfactor making his long-awaited hair-modelling debut at Zepp Fukuoka on Monday. To see even more shots of this great event please see my photo site.

Can they do it?

For those of you who are interested, my life-long team, West Ham United, have just got past Ipswich Town in the Division One play-off semi-finals. For the second year in a row, the mighty Hammers are but ninety minutes away from regaining their place amongst the Premiership-elite. The best thing about them gaining promotion would be that I'd be able to watch their games from time to time on Sky Perfect TV. And if only they bought a Japanese player they'd be on every week, just like Fulham used to be. Hang on a minute, isn't former Arsenal 'star' Inamoto currently playing for a shite club in Wales, like Swansea or Merthyr Tydvil? If I remember correctly I once saw him run rings around the Man United defence at Old Trafford!

Mr.Pardew, get the lad on board!

We rocked!!

This weekend's Concert on the Rock festival was bl**dy awesome! Some big thank yous go out to:

Jun and Shannon for playing fantastically and for putting up with me all weekend, the Fukuoka possee of Conor, Emily, Aaron and Eric, the girl-brigade of Rie-chan, Osi and chums, plus Tim, Chris Jack, Rich, Rachel and the other organizers, as well as everybody else who made it possible - and of course thanks to all the other bands and to all the wonderful people who listened to our show! We had a great time and it wouldn't have been so without any of you guys! Killer photos to follow.

In other news, Keisha and I joined Emily last night in our support of Conor on his modelling debut at Zepp Fukuoka. Not only did he do an amazing job, but he looked quite fetching in make-up too! Full report and photos to follow later...

And in case anybody was interested the Premiership finished this weekend. West Brom stayed up (amazingly) and it also seems that Manchester United have been bought by an American. Listening on BBC World to a female member of Malcolm Glazer's financial team referring to (imagine thick east-coast accent*) "the globalization of the Man U (sic) brand" was enough to make me squirm in my chair. These are exactly the kind of people the majority of football-followers want to keep out of the game. I will give Glazer a chance, but I think this whole saga will prove to be a sad turning point in the history of this wonderful game. After all, everybody knows that Americans are rubbish at football (sweeping and unfair generalization which is completely untrue). Meanwhile, every Englishman drinks tea at four in the afternoon.

*I made that bit up. I had no idea where in the States she was from - but I definitely didn't like her.

Let's rock the rock!!

This weekend Jun, Shannon and I are playing at Concert on the Rock, an open-air musical festival in Oita-ken, featuring some of the best bands in Kyushu.

Life in Japan

The following is a translation of a conversation James had (in Japanese) this morning in the well-known convenience store Mamily Fart as he was going about the task of buying himself a bento (a kind of Japanese lunch-box) and a carton of milk.

(James takes bento to counter and is served by a middle-aged woman who appears to be a new member of staff)
Shop-assistant - Thank you. Er...(looking surprised to be talking with a foreigner)...would you like us to heat this for you?
James - No thank you.
S.A - I understand. Er...chopsticks OK?
J - (James sighs) Yes. Of course.
S.A - (appears unsure, looks over to colleague for help) Should I give him chopsticks?
Colleague - (blank expression)
S.A - (unsure, she puts chopsticks in bag)...Do you speak Japanese?
J - (puzzled, thinking we are speaking Japanese now aren't we?) Yes...of course.
S.A - Wow! Cool! How long have you been in Japan?
J - Er...nearly two years.
S.A - What do you do?
J - I work in the Junior High School here in Fukuyoshi.
Both shop-assistants - Coooooooooooooool!!
J - (smiles politely)
S.A (to colleague) He speaks good Japanese, doesn't he?
Colleague - Very good! Cool!
J - Well...(James is interrupted)
S.A - Japanese is difficult, isn't it?
J - (sighs) Yes, very...(long pause...James shows signs of frustration, picks up bag and starts to head for the exit) Thank you very much! (said politely and with a smile).
S.A - Thank you so much!
Colleague - Thank you so much!
J - (Mini-bow)
Both shop-assistants - (coming out from behind the counter) Thank you so much! (commence flurry of bowing)
S.A - Take care!
Colleague - Take care!
S.A - Thank you so much!
J - Thank you (second mini-bow)
Colleague - Thank you so much!
S.A - Please take care, won't you!
Colleague - Thank you so much!
S.A - Thank you! Take care!
(James leaves shop)

Four hours later, it's lunchtime and James is hungry! He dives into his plastic Mamily Fart bag and pulls out the bento, followed by the chopsticks. James tucks in and two minutes later he reaches back into the bag in order to grab the milk to quench his thirst. However, as his left hand fumbles around inside the bag (his eyes very much fixed on his food) he grabs hold of something else. 'What's this?' he wonders...oh...wait a minute...it's a...

Hair-cut!!

Concert on the Rock 2

For info on Concert on the Rock, ticket prices, how to get there, sleeping arrangements etc. please click here.

Aso-san roadtrip

Aso-san. I really wanted to get closer but due to dangerous gaseous emissions the crater was closed.


Jun-chan and Aso-san: two fine examples of natural beauty!


James, in dire need of a haircut, lunges for the natto


Dad appears unfazed by the prospect of raw horse-meat

James the tank engine

James' head in the carefully crafted, Pocari Sweet sponsored, blue cardboard train.

FIRE!!

Late last night there was a huge fire in Higashi-ku. It covered about a city block and placed a nearby temple (made almost entirely of wood) in severe danger. I wanted to get down to the street where it was all happening but a legion of fire engines quickly arrived and the firemen, surprised to be actually doing any work, hastily cordoned off a huge area of the city about 1km square. So, I had to settle for the view from Jun's twelfth floor apartment. Luckily I had my zoom lens and a ISO 1600 film so with a bit of luck there'll be some nice photos to follow. For the moment here's some from the Cybershot.


Many dozens of fire-engines were called to the scene. The blaze was under control within half-an-hour. Incredible!

Anyway, it's the first day back at school and I have to declare that work sucks! Today I had to pretend to be a train driver, prancing around the class with a huge blue cardboard train on my head, which was made yesterday by the students of the sixth grade. It was 'sponsored', unbelievably, by Pocari Sweat. The students had to give me directions around the class room along a complicated rail network that had been expertly laid out on the floor of the room. I also had to sing the song 'Country Road'. I cannot stand that song. I had to sing it twelve times in total, three times in each class. And I have the same stupid class four more times tomorrow with the fifth grade!

So, was signing up for a third year really a sensible move?

The End

Tomorrow, it's back to work. Never mind!

It's been great fun having my Dad staying here over the Golden Week period and I am really happy that he could make it over to Japan. Amongst other things, we've done karaoke (twice), been to onsens (three times), eaten natto (once was enough) and liver, stayed in a ryokan, got drunk (many times), done a 25km bike ride, done two live shows, eaten lots of food, drunk lots of tea, eaten loads of pizza bread and watched too many hours of BBC World! All in all an action-packed ten days! Thanks for coming Dad! I hope you had a great time!

And thanks to Jun as always! You were fantastic!

**And in case anybody was wondering, Liverpool beat Chelsea (they'll play Milan in the final) and Labour won a third consecutive general election. That means Blair is still in office.**

Roll on Concert on the Rock!

Logically, I'm enjoying my time off.